Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
