you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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