You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
