Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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