there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
