Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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