beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
