Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
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