I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize