We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
only you would photoshop your dick
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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