oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
