God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Pappa wants mamma naked
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
