i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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