i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
