i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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