I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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