I'm going to jail i love you
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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