I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
