Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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