You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
