i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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