You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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