So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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