im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
