"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
