Tell her she can't have a vagina
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
