my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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