Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
