wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
