So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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