the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
