whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
