physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
