All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
