just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
