You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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