clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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