She is in my trunk
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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