Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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