I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
