Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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