I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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