When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
