Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
