So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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