it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
