I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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