I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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