Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
