yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
