and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
