I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
