you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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