The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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