Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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