i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
