just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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