I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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