Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
