Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
