It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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