chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
