I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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