Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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