she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
