he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
