Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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