so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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