I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
love makes seman taste better
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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