Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
