I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
