I need help removing her.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
